After math tuition today I went back to Viv's place with her to muck around during the afternoon. It was raining so my mum dropped us, and we lugged my guitar, amp and pedal up to her house! And we had pizzzzzzzzzzzaaaaaaaaaaa for lunch! Her mum thought we couldn't finish both, but we can, we can!
Ok sounds like I'm high on something. I assure you, I'm not. Just boredom talking.

Oh. My mother was cranky today. Getting pissed off at the smallest things this evening. Then she exploded and I found out it was cause both my brother and I have been out the whole afternoon, leaving her alone. Erm. Well yeah, I understand, but don't take it all out on me, snapping for the smallest things!

hahah I like this song, "Space" by Something Corporate. Ok so it may not be to some people's taste, but I like it, so deal with it.
And I like the font.
And I aspire to write like that.
And I can't.
And that's stupid.
And I wonder if the lyrics are clear.
And I realise this was kind of a pointless post.
And I did it because I was bored.
And I'm typing these "ands" cause I'm bored.
And I don't care.
And I meant I don't care if it's stupid.
And yes I know it's stupid.
And I don't care so deal with it.

ohfuck. I just realised, on friday, when I did the english comprehension, I blanko-ed the word "boring", intending to write in "mundane" instead, and I don't know if I wrote in "mundane" before I handed it in! fuckfuckfuck Nic, you've lost an unnecessary mark!!! argh.

I Remember You

This morning I was late for art as I was shooting pointless hoops with Su and Viv. So I rushed down to the art room and the moment I entered, something felt different. The happiness permeating the art room was palatable. Looking around, I realised Leow wasn't there! Thus explaining the relaxed atmosphere. See what the absence of one horrible nasty bastard can do. Ha.

Anyway. Listened to the aforementioned Skid Row song recently? "I Remember You". I'm guilty of listening too much, mostly because I've been trying to figure out how Dong's sung it so low. But not your fault, my now-skinhead pal, I know Sebastian Bach's voice is damn high though. Amazing. Haha.

But I digress.

Back to it. Anyway, the first line of the song goes "woke up to the sound of pouring rain", and that's exactly what I did today. The rain was pouring. I could hear it while I was in my room, which means it was shit heavy. Oh, incidentally, the first word I said this morning was "shit!" cause I woke up late. Forgot to set the alarm again and I had to rush.
And it went all downhill from there.

The whole day I felt lethargic and listless. I still do, actually. Like nothing's worth wasting my energy on. And truthfully, nothing really was today. I was either sleeping, spacing out or just staring at the teacher the whole day. Luckily, lessons today didn't require much attention.
Oh I'm going to fail my chemistry test dismally though. The only thought on my mind while doing the test was 'the sooner I finish, the sooner I can put my head down and sleep.' Sick or what huh?

argh what's up?

This is Bob! He was born during MATH lesson today cause it was so damn boring. Bob Doodle! He plays the "Doodle Guitar-Bored Special!" HAHAHAH ok spaz.

I wish I could start afresh at a different school or something. Frankly I'm really sick of the people in school. So many of them are pretentious, so fake so superficial. So "bimbo" but being a bimbo means that they'd have to be fairly pretty, of which some are not.

How bitchy do I sound huh. But seriously speaking, I really don't like people in school. Out of everyone I know, the friends, nodding aquaintences, classmates, etc, I can honestly say I'd hardly miss most of them. Maybe at the most six people.

A new school/enviroment's exciting, for me. The first few days of being a completly mute retard then you start talking to someone and then another someone and soon so many new people!

haha.
save meeee

And there you have it.. Buttheads! Haha. I've a bucket on my head. Munie I'm not buckethead, I'm butthead, in disguise!! Muahahahha ok I'm so damn lame and retarrrrrded. Shoot me, quick, before it spreads!

Thank fuck it's Thursday night! One more day of fucking school and it's the weekend again! *phew*
And come Monday, everything's changing again. :( I hate change. Especially change that doesn't benefit me. How selfish and self-centred huh? But then again, I guess deep in everyone there's a bit of that. At least there's still part of Sunday left.

Reeeeeeeeeeeetardddd




See!
This is exactly what you get when you combine an extremely narcissistic, retarded idiot with a camera on a boring night. And yes, that's a small jam jar. See? Retarded.
Or maybe just too bored and too spazzz.
Help me!


Baybeats with Viv, Mun and Sheryl tomorrow. Anyone else is welcome to join us! :)

Sunshine's over here comes the rain

-falling down, picking myself up over and over again


Suddenly everything's fucked up. Gone down the drain whoooosh. I know that singlarly, they're very trivial, but when combined, well everything's bringing me down, down, down.

I don't know what to do about art anymore. What a fucked up subject. I used to like it, maybe even love art, but now I live every week dreading art lessons. I should just bow out now while I can (if albeit late in the game) than not be able to meet the deadline ad have a have a half-finished piece of shit. Can I drop art? I certainly hope I'm able to. It'd be such a load off my shoulders. Pleasepleaseplease.

And I fucked up my Chinese O level oral exam. HA what's new my Chinese is complete crap anyway. I just hope I scrape a pass.

My whole week is kinda packed, I've hardly any time to spend. argh. Looking forward to Saturday casue I'll be with a couple of friends and I can just lose myself and act all 'happy happy, everything's fine and dandy' and pretend I don't have a care in the whole bloody world. At least for a few hours.

It's not really fun to be around me now, I'm moody and depressed most of the time. Ok wait, yeah, maybe everything'll appear to be normal and wonderful since I keep it inside and rarely voice out stuff. I guess I'm not one to tak about my troubles etc a lot. Which is why when some people read these 'emo' grumbly posts I guess they'd think they're at the wrong blog. Or they'll come to the sudden realisation that I'm not who I seem. Pfft.

Who'd have thought little, trivial things would band together and affect me huh? Whatever happened to 'indestructible'?

I guess you're all sick of reading about my trivial troubles and problems, sick of me whinging and whining here. Self-lothing is a very popular feeling these days. So I guess I'll shut up now.

Anyway, even if anyone wanted to help what could anyone do huh? No one's got magical powers, no one's a miracle worker.

moods

I was moody again today and I'm so ashamed.
Why why WHY do I get these funny moody spells, where I feel that anything and everything worth fuck all, and that life is so mundane, so boring, so worthless and living just doesn't appeal much at all? I've got so much going for me, those should be the last things I think of.

I hate showing it because it affects everyone around me, and those whom I care about most get irritated, pissed off, maybe even hurt when I get moody and shit.

Locking it in a box somewhere deep inside seems to do the trick, especially in school. Think about it. Most people I know in school think I'm this bright, cheery person who likes to make noise, laugh, annoy people and joke around. See that's because all the funny unnamed emotions get locked away.

I'm so afraid that one day the box will be full, then what'd happen to everything I've shoved into it?

I'm heading for a breakdown.

Multiple explosions on London transit system

That's the headline CNN has. Go and watch it. It's so awful, so terrible, so sickening. And like Viv said, it's all the work of man, of people.
Humans harming other humans. People who are made up of the same things, blood, bones, muscles, cells...
What drives these people to act so inhumanly towards others who are exactly the same as them?

It's sick.


Suddenly in comparison, what I wanted to type about my day seems so superficial, so frivolous. I shall just cut it short then.

Left school at 12 noon with Nellyn, competed in 50m breaststroke today. Came fourth in my heat, clocking a timing of 46.77 seconds.
I get the feeling that dear ol' Mr. Chia was rather pleased with me. He tapped me on the shoulder with his programme booklet and said sth like

"see never come training still swim so fast, imagine how fast you'll be if you did come, can get into finals!"

Oh well. 50m freestyle tomorrow. Hope Chia's pleased with me again haha.
OH I saw my (quote Nellyn) "little friend" today! Hehhehheh. Kenneth Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you're one hott hott hott pretty boy!

whahah.

Lifeguards and goodbyes

Well now I'm a proper, certified lifeguard. Look out for me somewhere, at a pool or a beach this December! I'll be hanging around somewhere, getting paid! heh.

And now this is the end of hmm well about 10 months, attending lessons on Sunday evenings, joking around with the other people taking lessons, poking fun at Mr Tan and listening to him teach...

And now I've come to the end of the road. Or if you want to be more optimistic, the sharp bend in a long road. Everything's changed. I'll probably never see anyone from the class again. I'll miss them, I'm very sure. Mabel, Jasmine, Jasper, Kenneth, Kenny, Jared, Weijie.. yes even Lester! (even though Lester does exasperate me at times)

And Mr. Tan. He'll be leaving to study overseas. Sad isn't it. One of the very, very, VERY few adults whom I like and respect a lot, and he's leaving. :(

Why can't all the nice things in life stay the same? After Friday, I'll probably never set foot in Toa Payoh pool again.
And Friday will be my last swimming nationals. After 5 years of going to that pool, first for nationals, then for some school training, then for my lifeguard course, and after Friday..
no more. No more. No more, no more.

Denise! This is for you!! :P



Nic says "No to Mark Chay!"
You should too!!

hahahahahaha.